Harlequin Horizons Just Misses Neiman Marcus’ Christmas Wish Book


Harlequin Limited Enterprises has just launched a new division, Harlequin Horizons.  According to their website this new line is their self-publishing division, “that offers aspiring romance writers the opportunity to self-publish their work.”

So, with a fee beginning at $600 now any writer can become a published author.  But that’s not it Harlequin Horizons is also offering other services to help make your book the next best seller or the next Twilight!

My favorite?  The Hollywood Book Trailer.

For only $19,999, your vision can become a “live-action Hollywood-produced book trailer“.  Even better?  The finished product will be reviewed by an agent and if it meets the muster they will present it to a movie studio.  Gee golly whiz too bad Neiman Marcus has already published their 2009 Christmas Book because this ranks right up there with there with their past doozies such as the…

from the 2004 Christmas Catalog where for only $25,000 the lucky buyer can join country music royalty on stage during a live Opry broadcast. Along with sitting in with the band live on the show, the exclusive package includes a music lesson with an Opry band member, a pre-show gourmet dinner for two in your dressing room, a gig co-hosting the Opry warm-up show live on 650 AM WSM and luxury accommodations for two at the Gaylord Opryland Resort. Also, Manuel, the legendary creator of cowboy couture for Elvis and countless other music legends, will design and create matching his and hers jackets for the purchaser. For another priceless memento, an array of Opry performers will autograph a Takamine acoustic guitar.

Or this years, HALL ARTISAN WINE AND ART EXPERIENCE ($20,000) – Learn organic, artisan winemaking firsthand from Kathryn and Craig Hall, tour the Rutherford Estate, enjoy tastings of exclusive private vintages — and have the singular chance to create your own personal vintage in a private blending session led by HALL Winemaker Steve Leveque.
And in 2008, the true equestrian for $10 million could have purchased  3 Chimneys Farm in Midway KY, complete with a stable of up to 15 race horses.   Home to Kentucky Derby Winner Big Brown, Smarty Jones, and Triple Crown Winner Seattle Slew, 3 Chimney’s Farm purchase also included experienced trainers (with your guidance of course), boarding, the opportunity to enter your new stock into various horse races, design the jockey silks for your “stable”, attendance at all races, and all of the winnings & trophies that are won.

Personally, you can keep all of the above and even the Hollywood Book Trailer and just send me the customized cupcake car.

Leave a Reply